Dating: Asking, Conflicts, Tips 26 - Page 22

quote TheGreatEye

Ahh, young love!

Dude, don't worry about it. A month from now you won't give a shit. Trust me

My advice probably doesn't seem very constructive, but do me one thing:

1. Copy/Paste your above heartfelt dilema into a notepad document. Keep it safe (print if necessary).

2. Read it again when you're about 25. You will laugh your head off!!

Other than that, good luck in resolving your situation mate. I'm sure you will sort it out

I just thought I'd stop in and say....
I still give a shit

For the two or three of you who have been here since the 26th version of this thread came around, I just thought I'd post a COMPLETE history of what's happened with Autumn. Be warned, it's long as *bleep*, and contains some of the same stuff from previous posts. Mods, sorry if this is too long or I shouldn't have repeated myself, delete as neccesary

Keep in mind, Autumn's homeschooled, and is 13.
Devin's not homeschooled, and is 14.
I'm homeschooled, 15, they both live in York.

Alright, basically, her first "real" boyfriend was my best friend for a few years. They went out for about 6 months, until I found out he was cheating on her. I told her, and I think she believed me, but didn't want to accept it, so she still went out with him for a while. It wasn't until a couple other friends of hers told her what he was doing in November that she broke up with him.

We didn't talk much after they broke up, but I could tell it really, really affected her. In early/mid January, I asked her out on a whim and to my surprise, she said yes. We went out for about 3 weeks, and she told me that she wanted to break up because she wasn't ready to have a boyfriend, and because of the distance.

I took this really hard, but I still called and talked to her. We talked regularly, but about a month after she broke up with me, I found she was dating her 18-year-old neighbor. Not surprisingly, this sparked suspicion in me, and with help from Devin (a mutual friend) I managed to convince Autumn how stupid THAT big of an age difference is, and she broke up with him.

Devin and I have had some history in the past, and I decided that I liked her again and asked her out, but got turned down. A few weeks later, I think that Autumn likes me again, and I ask her out, but was turned down. Devin tells me that Autumn has lied about some things, (mostly minor stuff), and I ask Autumn about it. Autumn says that yes, she has lied.

I got mad at her, and sent her an email that basically said that I won't talk to her again unless she can give a really, really good reason. Right after she reads the email (and before she talks to me again), Devin convinces Autumn not to go out with anyone for at least a month. However, she also told Autumn not to talk to me anymore.

I signed on right after that, and I talk to Autumn for a while, which seriously eases my anger (of course). While I'm doing this, Devin tells me that Missy (yes, the Missy from here, I still don't know how Devin got her s/n...) hates me, and never wants to talk to me again. Naturally, I immeaditly IM Missy, who tells me she never said anything like that. I ask Devin, and she says that she lied because she wanted to see my reaction. I get really mad at Devin, and basically stop talking to her.

Things are rocky but okay between me and Autumn for a few weeks until Devin tells me through Autumn she's sorry, and wants to talk to me again. I'm still mad, but Autumn's been bugging me to talk to her for a while, so I start talking to Devin again.

Now, the following weekend, I went to York, and at the friend's house I was staying at, I was talking to Autumn. She basically said she still kind've likes Mike (the guy who cheated on her), but she'd never, ever date him again. I basically tell her that that's stupid, because if he really wanted her again, he could just basically seduce (for lack of a better word) her. She gets mad at me, but the following day at church, we patch it up.

The day I get home, I get on AIM and talk to Autumn for a while, and she said that Devin said that she'd do anything in her power to keep us from talking while I was there. Obviously, that failed, but it still made me mad, so I decided not to talk to Devin again. Right after that, Devin sends me an email that says Autumn asked Devin to ask out Jack for her. Although Jack said no, it still kind've struck me.

It occurs to me that the week before I went to York, I didn't get a chance to call or IM Autumn at all, and during that time, I didn't really think about her much. My theory then, is that if I don't talk to Autumn, I'll stop liking her (I've loved her pretty much this ENTIRE time, which only made it harder.) I email Autumn, telling her that I can't talk to her and why, and offer to have one more conversation.

Obviously, while talking to her I realised how much I'd miss it, so I decided not to. Things are okay between us for a while, except for one episode. What happened was, I realised how much Devin was influencing and controlling Autumn, and I tried to make Autumn aware of it. It took some time, and a lot of arguments, but she sort've understood what I was getting at.

Other than that, everything was fine until this last Saturday, when she asked me out, etc, etc. So, how was the novel? Yes, I do realise how much drama has been in my life recently, but I'm happy to say it is almost completely over. After tomorrow (when I call Autumn), it'll be resolved completely, either with us dating or no. Thanks if you made it this far, comments appreciated

Yeah, don't even try to quote this, just say "Hammerburst," and whatever else.

I'm afraid this might sound horribly whiney of me, but I can't help it. I'm not even mad, I'm just... confused.

I'm the one with the long-distance relationship of [[soon to be]] 8 months. Things were going pretty bad, not talking much and fighting when we did, about a month ago. We broke up for 2 days [[so more like a short "break"]] and things have been great since. I've learned to accept and deal with his going out, and it's given me a lot of time to do things that I want to do.

Last night he said he'd be home "late" [[meaning about 11 or so]] and that was the last I heard of him. No call, no IM, no other message contradicting the "be home later, I'll call you when I'm in" message. Okay, this didn't really bother me.

He's coming over next weekend, and we had planned on going to the movies together to see Spiderman 3 last time he came over, last month. We confirmed the plans to do this a couple of days ago. Now, this is going to sound very dumb, but I was looking forward to it. We had fun [[not in a sick way-- just being with him was nice]] last time we went, and I wanted to see the movie with him. The first I hear from him since his "be home later" message last night, was a message I just got saying he's going to the midnight showing of-- you guessed it, Spiderman 3-- and he'll call around 3AM.

Am I justified to be a little upset about this? I mean I'm not crying over it and I'm not mad. It just stinks that he either forgot or didn't think much of our plans. I'm not going to bring it up to him, it's too small of a thing to actually matter. But am I completely crazy for being a tiny bit put off right now? -_____-

quote Shackled

This may be a stupid question, but how exactly do you go about asking a girl out? I'm not very experienced in dating, and I really like this girl but I'm not really sure about "how" to ask her out...

I would just go and say to her/him:

-" Hey, what's up ? What you doing tonight? What about going at the movie to see the new spiderman 3 ??"


That should work.

Just because she didn't text back doesn't mean she is avoiding you! She may just not have credit, or her phone may not have any battery life and she hasn't got round to charging it!

I'm in quite the predicament...Let's see. I'm married for almost one year, to a man I love more than anything. We've been together for about two and a half years, so we did move fast, but I don't think it was a mistake. I love him as much as I did before, and I think we'll make it.

But...there's this thing. Recently, about a month or so ago, I had a dream about making out with a co-worker of mine. All fine and good, just a dream, but after that dream, I started thinking about it, and realized I may have a crush on this guy. Since then I've had at least two more dreams about him, and I find myself thinking about him a lot more. He's about 15 years older than me...and we wouldn't get along I don't think at all, relationship wise. We get along well at work and joke around a lot, and I find myself trying to talk to him more and more.

I just want this to stop. I like the guy, and, I'm afraid, if the opportunity arises, I may give in to temptation, even though I don't want to...I just don't know what to do, my mind is torn and I'm feeling so much guilt...

No problems out of the ordinary. We have our occassional fights and whatever, they have gotten pretty heated before, but nothing like with violence or anything like that. Sex life is pretty decent, not lacking there. I really don't see why this is happening. We're not fighting any more than we normally do, or about anything significant in fact, heh. I just don't know. I mean, I know I haven't done anything wrong yet...cuz there's nothing wrong with thinking about other people sometimes...right? But I just hope I have enough self control to keep it that way.