Dating: Asking, Conflicts, relationships, and Tips 2011c

My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday, this time for good. Cant belive its happened to be honest, now to start the long hard process of moving on

Im in a bit of a weird situation at the minute. As mentioned before my girlfriend of a year left me because she wanted to be alone and due to various problems in her life felt as though she couldnt handle being in a relationship anymore.

Now for the first few days i was completely "heartbroken" and quite depressed, was constantly getting upset all the time and never left the house. But then after a few days I just kind of...stopped caring. Like I desperatly wanted her back at first and then i woke up one morning and just didnt feel anything anymore, no desire to win her back, no desire to see her or talk to her.

Admittedly when i have spoken to her i felt something, it was more nerves than anything else, and the thought of her being with someone else freaks me out a bit. Plus i hear she is going out drinking every night and not eating which doesnt exactly seem right seeing as she is the one that left me, and every time i have spoken to her its been her contacting me.

I was just expecting to take forever to get over her as such, and it seems weird, but I think I have. Its only been a week and I feel as though I am over her, the girl who for the last year i was madly in love with, i am even starting to doubt that now.

Is it normal to move on so quick? do you think it will come back to haunt me?

I have also found myself speaking to other girls and such too, even looks like i may have a date soon. But I dont know if this is normal?!

Help!

quote Kinetic

So my girlfriend and I have been dating for a little over 9 months. Everything has been going great until recently. So she is a good deal younger than me. She is 16 and I just turned 19. It wasn't until I turned 19 yesterday that I started thinking about our age difference. I will be going off to college soon, and she will still be here in high school. She isn't happy when I'm away for even a day, so I'm not sure how she will be able to handle me going away to college.

I also feel like she is getting too attached and dependent on me. I don't want her to be. I feel like we are getting a bit too serious as well (more her than I). In a way I feel guilty for something as well. I feel like I'm limiting her high school experience. She should be out making friends and having st least a little fun. I am the only person that she ever sees or hangs out with besides her family. It is really starting to worry me.

Recently, she has gotten very quiet. She doesn't seem to be happy, but every time I ask her she says she's fine. We haven't connected very well recently either. We have our good times, but the bad outweigh the good.

That being said, most of the 8 months previous were fantastic. I really felt a connection growing with this girl. It really hurts me that things haven't been the same. She has been my best friend and has done everything for me, but I really am not happy right now. I hate to say it, but I've been on the verge of tears all day.

I don't know what to do. I'm not happy, but there is always a chance that things will go back to the things they were. But then again I have to go to college soon.

Any advice?

Kinetic it seems like this is exactly the same situation I ended up in with my now Ex (see previous posts). She seemed very distance, we didnt have sex, took a lot of effort to get a kiss, i think she freaked out at the fact that she may of become dependent on me. The only advice i could give is to give her some space, spend some time with friends and hope she sorts herself out if you dont see her then she will eventually need to meet up with friends and family. Im not saying ignore her but get some stuff booked up which keeps you unavailable for a a while.
Unfotunatly my ex decided that she wanted to be alone, and there is not much i can do about that, but that was nothing I did, just the mind set she was in.

I think the main sign if a girl is interested in you is if it's not always you texting/calling/organising to meet up with her. If she drops you a text or something at least it shows she is thinking about you. and if she is ignoring you then its more than likely the opposite.

Man things have been messed up for me recently. I have split with ym gf like a month ago and since then she has put me through alot sending me abuse and all this crap when i havent done anything wrong. It really put me off her and have tried to move on.

Met a girl at a gig not so long ago and have met up with her a couple of times since, but like when we text and stuff she seems really in to me then when we meet she seems really shy and never gives me the chance to "make a move" and i dont want to give her the wrong impression of just wanting to be friends :/ but now I am thinking thats what she wants but i just cant tell if its shyness or disintrest.

And to top things off my ex text me tonight propper playing with my head and i think she is subtly trying to say she misses me without actually saying it.

quote Thirst_For_Soda

quote Perfect Hit

Thirst_For_Soda Aye i really want to make a move but I'm not sure if she is being shy or doesnt want me to! :/

as for the other girl its weird cause i was with her for a year and i'm finding it hard to come to terms with the fact that i may never see her again, and every time i almost get over her and get her out my head she seems to text me. Just the thought of her not being there scares me a bit.

I feel you man. When youve gotten used to a persons smile, her laugh, her mind, her face, the way she moves and the pleasant sound of her voice it can be hard to let go of that.

But hey this world is merciless. I always try to do the right and smart thing even if its very painful. Determine for yourself is it the right thing to move on or is this really worth it. In relationships, oftentimes if you have doubts about a girl and you tried to work it out many times but failed, its time to move on before things get more complicated. You are not only hurting yourself but hurting her by not moving on properlly and honestly breaking things up in a positive way between the two of you.

Yeah man i spoke to her last night and i spoke to my buddy this morning and I think that if i ever want to move on and get over her i'm gunna have to remove her from my life for a while if not for good, i can never see myself being comfortable seeing her with another guy so i think its probably for the best if i say my goodbyes leave it on good terms and let that be that.

Resilience my girlfriend of a year broke up with me mid january so have been kind of getting to grips with being single and trying to figure out how i feel about things. The friend zone girl is the only person who i have had a clear cut view on, there has been other girls who i have been confused about what i want from them and a few one night stands, but this girl is the only one who i can say i have truely got feelings for. I think it is way past the point of turning things around now. Onwards and upwards i guess.

I'm gunna post this here because i just need to clear my head a bit and get everything thats been inside this last week out, cause it has been a pretty rough time for me, its 1am and i need to vent a bit, sorry if a blabber on.

Some of you may know that in january my girlfriend of a year left me because she like she wasn't in the right mindstate to be in a relationship anymore and just wanted to be alone. She had a lot going on in her life, and suddenly lost a relative around that time so i understood her reasonings and she said at the time that it doesn't mean it is over and maybe we could try again in the future. This hit me pretty hard because one i didn't expect it to happen, and two she meant so much to me and to suddenly loose her like that it was almost like bereavement.

So since January I have spoke to her on and off, things have been good most of the time, had a few arguments and falling outs but they all got resolved and as time went on we talked to each other more and more but i never really got my hopes up and just went along with it, until last week. She opened up to me one night saying that she missed me, she wanted to meet up and was saying she still had my stuff and wanted to keep some of it etc. like I mentioned until then I had managed to keep the thought of getting back with her out of my head but this really turned things around and I thought that maybe now was the time to give it another go. Well after saying all this I didn't hear from her for a few days (which was nothing out of the ordinary so i left her to it) but then time went on until it was almost 5 days without a word, which i thought was strange especially after saying all that she had said the week before so I text her asking if everything was ok. A few hours later she replied saying "It has been months you should have moved on by now." This confused me a bit so I said that she hadn't moved on either which she replied saying that she has met someone else.

I didn't really know how to take this or even deal with the situation, I had refrained from having any desire to get back with her and the moment I do she moves on out of nowhere. I decided to keep things short and sweet so that i could deal with the situation myself so i just replied saying "I hope he makes you happy, goodbye" to which she said thank you and that was that...or so i thought.

Later that evening I recieved a text from her saying "we should stop having so much sex lol, skype later?" and then one after saying "IGNORE" which was apparantly "accidently" sent to me instead of the new guy. This was *bleep*ing bullshit. Who sends texts like that anyway? and she must of had to type that all out on an iPhone where it clearly says who you are sending it to at the top, plus i hadnt spoke to her for like 7 hours. I have literally done nothing wrong in the relationship or after the relationship when everyone said i really had the right to. If you know her you would realise that there can be a very very spiteful side to her, which i never ended up on the end of until now. A few thoughts went through my head after getting that text:

• Did she do it to hurt me?
• Did she send it so that i had a reason not to talk to her again, so she can be with the new guy
• was it purely accidental?

well i ruled the last one out judging by her reaction afterwards seeing as she never apologised once, and even tried to have a go at me because "i should be happy for her that she is happy" anyway i lost my cool a bit and told her to *bleep* off, delete my number and not talk to me again, and I havent heard from her since.

This has left me feeling two ways. The first is a positive view on things. In a way i am glad she sent that text, she happened to do it when all my mates were with me, so me and them and everyone else i have told all have the higher moral ground over her now. No matter what happens whoever sees here will always have that in their mind, and nearly everyone has said they want nothing to do with her at all anymore. This is what i wanted, i didnt want people to hate or be spiteful back, there is no need to sink to her level, ignoring her and showing that you are getting on with life is gunna have more of an effect to her and to me, showing that i dont care what she does or says anymore.

The second way is a bit negative. The girl who i have loved for a year, put all my time and care into to make sure she is happy, lost my virginity to, has just erased me from her life in a matter of days after telling me she missed me and wanted to meet up. Its made me question everything that happened over the year, did she ever really care for me? she left me "to be alone" was that just an excuse to get rid of me? To turn around and hurt me like that has just made me loose all faith, respect and love for someone who i thought the world of. I feel used, screwed over and a little embarassed to be done like that. It has put me off another relationship for a long while and really done some damage to my self-confidence and personality. I have been drinking loads, smoking and eating shit food, and generally being a bum all day.

I don't really know where i am going with this. I guess i just don't know how to handle someone i can still honestly say i still care for hurting me like that or how to move on and restore some confidence in the future.

I hope this isn't time wasted for you, thanks for taking the time to read it. I just needed to empty my head somewhere.