Dating: Asking, Conflicts, & Tips ^38 - Page 26

So... I've been dating this guy for about seven months and I've been ignoring a few things about him.

For one, I'm not social at all. He's very social. The idea of being social kind of makes me upset/angry. It's a problem, but it does. Other times he hangs around other girls and tells me about how pretty/smart they are even though he knows it bothers me. He also does drugs. Which from my personal experiences in my family, I hate the idea. He's told me he stopped but then I've caught him doing it anyways. I know it's addictive, but honestly... there's no reason to lie. He also keeps talking about sex... which I'm not comfortable about it. He kind of forces the subject on me. He's asked me multiple times if I'm upset with him but I can't put myself up to actually tell him that I am. I'm too much in love, I guess. I really don't know what to do with this. He purposely says things to make me jealous, lies to me (not just the drug thing), and goes out with his friends to "fight".

So pretty much my question is... what should I do about this?

I've thought about ending it. But he's just too sweet of a guy. Despite everything else wrong with him, he's really nice to me. I could try explaining the issues with him... but it'd be really awkward for me.

quote U_know_who

I've thought about ending it. But he's just too sweet of a guy. Despite everything else wrong with him, he's really nice to me. I could try explaining the issues with him... but it'd be really awkward for me.

You say he's too sweet of a guy and he's really nice to you, but after reading everything you said in your first post it definitely doesn't seem that way... Don't be afraid to tell him that what he does upsets you. After all, how can you ever expect him to change if he doesn't even know that what he's doing is pissing you off?

quote Tumbles

It depends what you found out?

Some things are forgiveable and easy to move past and some things aren't. You're leaving out the most important part of the story.

Sorry for the late post, I've experienced horrible CPU problems that ruined the hard drive and I couldn't reply until today. Ok, some of you guys could possibly remember a thread I started about hypothetical conditions, and after 20 messages and talking to him a little I kinda felt like he was talking to me so he could feel superior-stronger-more intelligent in any way, and I wouldn't bother if he had said that to me, but I detest being used and being fooled. So, I decided to take a sort of revenge, and I started some rumor about me liking him and all that so he could feel unconfortable, knowing that he believes in everything that's said to him (I didn't do anything to him, I just started the rumors and stopped talking to him, not even greeting him or getting close to him).

The plan worked out way too well, I almost make him cry in front of me, he was feeling harassed *with only what other people said to him*, which was literally that I liked him much, nothing more, nothing less. So, I ignore if the other people had influence on his acting, but I felt really bad after what I've done, I just wanted to annoy him, not to make him cry; so I started to think about it with a calmed mind, and I found out two things:

--I never asked him why he talked to me, and I never asked other people if they knew, so I had no true evidence inculpating him for talking me for pure self-convenience.

--He greeted me the day after, and asked another person if he was doing good by greeting me (I was informed about this). That hints to me that he really wanted to befriend with me again, but he's not sure about what I could do.

So, that made me feel like crap and that I *bleep*ed everything up, he didn't deserve what I did to him.

So, after time, and after feeling horribly bad about what happened, I learnt that I wasn't actually doing that for pure revenge, but I was doing that because I was hiding my feelings from even me; I tied the loose ends on my mind and I finally made up a conclusion: "I really liked that guy". After a few days I finally accepted it as real, but I didn't want to hurt the guy anymore.

So, as my previous post said: I talked about it with a female friend, and I told him that I wanted to apologize and befriend with the guy again, if he wanted to, of course, but she told me that I must not get any close to the guy, much less to apologize, nor to talk to him ever again. I learnt to leave my suspects apart and don't let them control my decisions, but I suspect that that girl likes the guy, and she is afraid not being able for him to like her back if he discovers he likes me too. So, that idea for me is totally discarded, but the girl may be thinking that, or she's insecure of the results, but as well she could be trying to protect me and/or him from further harm.

Thulsy is how the story has come into, and I don't know what to do next: should I follow what my mind tells me and do what I think is right, or should I take the advice of the female party and stay away from him? I really need to take a decision soon, please, if you can help me that would be pretty much appreciated.

@ Magnaillusion CM: go talk to him. Whats the harm, I'm sure he's eager to be friends, maybe more. Maybe he was crying because he actually did like you? And that his confident superior language was an attempt to show you his wit/ impress you.
@ Cheatdude: For now, you don't. You will know.

ask yourself is the joy obtained by having a girlfriend greater than the emotional effort of trying to find one and being possibly rejected an uncertain number of times. It's a simple opportunity cost...

quote Kirbyking

quote cheatdude

A simple question here.
How can I know if I really want a girlfriend?

Are you speaking in general or is there a girl in mind?

It's hard to really determine if you really want a girlfriend for a relationship since hormones like to get in the way of our better judgment. But if you want a girlfriend for that purpose, then by all means do so.

only you can decide if you really want one. they way you did put it makes you sound like you want one just to have one, which is never a good idea, but like KK said, go ahead if so

I'm really confused now. Since July, I had a girl (in a dream, but she exists. Saw her a few times at school) in my mind for like 2 months, but haven't tried to find her or something. Just kept thinking about her untill she ment nothing much to me. I myself also think about the idea on getting a girlfriend. I'm not gonna rush this whole thing, so I guess this is the best thing to do for now. Your thoughts?

Oh, and like Angle Blade27 said, I want a long relationship with a girl.