I noticed there's a whole bunch of funny FF7 rumors so i suggest we put them all in common and laugh at the weirdest!

Everyone heard the ''Cheese Weapon'' one, right??

I didn't hear that one, what is it about?

Cheese Weapon!

quote

Get the wierd chocobo(check chocobo rumor section) Now ride the chocobo out of midgar and ride it to rocket town. (Note that you cannot go on mountains because the Weird Chocobo is afraid of heights.) Run around the rocket ten times and you can enter it. Now you will be prompted: "Where to?" You can answer one: "Disneyland" "West Side" "Party" Choosing Disneyland will take you to Gold Saucer, where all the costumes will be Disney-oriented. West Side takes you to a hidden area in midgar where Barret _really_ grew up. Party will take you to Costa Del Sol, where Cid is having a kegger in the house with everyone else (including the Turks.) BUT YOU WANT TO CHOOSE THE HIDDEN FOURTH OPTION. This will bring up another question: "Are you sure?" Answer "Yes" and you will fly to the moon. When you land you have ten seconds to run into the cheese weapon, who is skipping by just as you land. If you touch him you can fight him. If not, game over. Stats of the Cheese Weapon: ----- HP: 2,000,000,000 MP: 20,000 Attacks: Sharp Cheddar (a physical attack, causes around  damage) Cheese Sneeze (Causes  damage to all plus poison and confu) Cheese Freeze (Ice based, causes  damage to one) Cheese Breeze (Wind based, causes  damage to all) Cheese Degrees (Fire, causes  damage to one) Vitamin Cheese (Heals the Cheese Weapon for 9999 HP) Death by Cheese (Causes 9999 damage to all, used when HP is down to 1,000,000. Can only be blocked by casting shield or barrier beforehand) EXP: 1,000,000 AP: 1,000,000 (like you'd need all that, anyway) Gil: 1,000,000 Win: Cheese Ring Steal: Cheese armlet (If you can equip it during battle, which you really can't, it will absorb all damage taken from the cheese weapon as HP) Morph: Cheese Source (raises stats of all characters to 255) Notes: ----- The Cheese Weapon will summon four Cheeseasaurus Rexes (yes, the ones from the Kraft Cheese and Macaroni commercial.) They can attack you for about 3000 HP each, and can steal items from you (they usually wind up stealing everything you have, but you can steal them back. you win them back at the end of the battle, anyway.) The easiest way to beat the Cheese Weapon (I tested this and it ALWAYS works) is to summon Odin, which will turn him into cheese slices, then summon Titan to turn him into a cheese sandwich. Then summon Typoon to turn the sandwich over. Then summon the Knights of Round to put toppings on the sandwich. They will put on: Ham, Turkey, Salami, Bologna, Mayonnaise, Mustard, Pickles, Olives, Lettuce, Tomato, Peppers, and Onions. Then the big guy at then end (i think it's king arthur) will cut the sandwich in half.

I didn't know about that "Cheesy Weapons" rumon.

Thanks for the info and the pic.

Cheese weapon is easily the best, the fact that someone actually put in the effort in that and fooled so many idiots deserves a clap. Not many others as worthy as that, there's only else rubbishy ones like the Ultimate Weapon and bringing Aerith back.

The screenshot makes it brilliant. They're on the moon ... fighting cheese!

Yeah, it actually looks so FF7ish graphic wise as well, it does look real.

lol it will be fun if you cloud fight it

Think I had a tear in my eye reading that one. Hopefully there are more funny ones like this.

that's so funny! There was probably some person who hasn't finished FFVII looking at this going 'cool!'
Very well done screenshot!

there was one saying you can get Aerith back in your party with out cheating

Yeah that's the most common ff7 false rumor. But this cheese weapon rumor isn't even as ridiculous as the one i read! I don't remember where i saw it though...It said something like ''Capture a Purple Choboco, it will allow you to fly and then fly to the xxxxx cavern (it's not on the worldmap) and give xxxx item to xxxx guy and you will be able to play young Cloud!''

Here's one version of Aeris' revival process!

Throughout the past few weeks, I, myself, have been wondering why people were having such a hard time reviving Aeris, because according to everything I saw through the scenario translation process, it could be done fairly easy. Here's the Aeris revival process, in full.

First off, throughout the game, you must make the logical choice of things to say to Aeris to indicate that you like her. You must never hurt her in any way by choice. What happens in scenarios, however, cannot be avoided (Aeris' beating by Cloud, for instance).

Also, with the sick man. There is no medicine, but you could have Aeris tend to him and make him feel better by learning about her heritage and returning to Midgar on the first CD. By doing this, the "GENERAL" as people call him, would trust you, and request you go buy his dying friend something from the store. A simple quest. After doing so, the GENERAL would tell you thanks, and that if there was anything else you need ever, to ask him for help. You then see a scene with his friend dying. A sad scene.

Now, continue through the game as normal, and after Aeris dies, go to the second CD. Once here, return to Midgar with the key from CD1, and the GENERAL will ask you where the nice girl (Aeris) is. You explain that she has died, by Sephiros, and that there is no hope in reviving her. There would be a chance, but only if you could go deep under the waters of the floating castle (where Aeris died). The GENERAL would tell you that he thinks he may be able to help, and to come back later. After this meeting, you were to go to Aeris' church, where there would be a long scene with her spirit. If you had been nice to her, she would express a desire to return to help you. After doing this, return to the GENERAL, who would provide you with a Yellow materia that allowed the group to travel through water. With this, you could return to the floating palace, go up to Mr. Fish, and once you touched him, you would be transported under water, to a cavern, where, at the end, lay Aeris' orb/life essence. With this orb, Bugen Hagen could complete the ress process, and you could move on to a happier life with a neater ending.

From: http://www.ff7citadel.com/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=1

On a german website (www.cheats.de), a guy wrote that you can go to the sick guy in Midgar sector 5 after you beat the Weapons, and try to heal him by throwing away a Megalixir.

Then he would give you some key to open a dungeon in sector 6, where you would be able to fight Infected Rufus.


I tried to do this hoping to get a new challenge, since the Weapons were already too easy. But then i realized, that you cannot throw away items, and the sick guy was gone after the reunion. I'm still kind of pissed that i fell for it!!!!

LMAO This is the first time I herd of the Cheese weapon, I wonder if anyone actually fell for it XD
I wouldn't think so, but some people can be a bit.... "gullible"

Be aware of it's Cheese string whipping |D

Omg look at this:

''It is possible to revive Aeris after her death, and use her again in your party. There is a side-quest involved to allow you to revive Aeris, in the USA version. The game has multiple endings. Sephiroth, and the Chocobo are all playable characters. There is a character named Boxer who you can meet and who will join your party. There are many extra materia in the game, and more Master Materia than the basic four. Every character has an extra set of hidden limit breaks.''


This is definitly the worst thing i've ever read: (extended version of Cheese weapon rumor)

The hidden WEAPON:
Cheese WEAPON- The WEAPON found on the moon. Need a weird Chocobo.
Finding the Weird Chocobo:
Begin this quest by defeating Jenova Synthesis, Bizarro Sephiroth and Safer Sephiroth. When the battle between Cloud and Final Sephiroth ensues, start to run away. You will not be able to run away, but keep doing it. Sephiroth will hit you for 1 damage at intercals. Keep running. You have a 128 chance of escaping when he hits you. When you finally escape, you will be standing outside of Migdar (don't ask me how.) You will have a brief moment of thought and then you will commence battle with Meteoe.
Meteor Stats:
----------
HP:9,999,999,999,999
MP:0
Attacks: Earth Crush(used one minute into battle, which destroys the planet and ends the game.)
Meteorian (as per the limit break)
Comet, Comet2
EXP:1
AP:0
GIL: Like a big rock would carry any gil!!
PRIZES AT END OF BATTLE: Some scars and the praise of billions
STEAL: Comet Materia, Space Junk, Moon Rock
MORPH: Tissue
NOTES:
-----
In a nutshell, you have exactly one minute to kill Meteor before it hits the planet, but here's how you can do it. You will lose this battle if you don't have the Transform Materia in your rotation. You need to cast Mini on Meteor 5 times. You can insure this by casting haste on yourself. After you hit Meteor 5 times with Mini the battle will end and you get 1 EXP and 0 AP.
Meteor will get mad and crush down on the planet, but it's only the size od a house and lands on Don Corno's mansion.

Go back into Midgar using a disabled key item called "pogo stick". Go to Corneo's mansion and you will see a spotted chocobo. Speak to it and give it a name. You must give the chocobo a name that is opposite to this gender or it will run away. Its a 50/50 chance of getting it right, so I suggest saving the game before speaking to it. Now ride the chocobo out of Midgar and ride it to Rocket Town. (Note that you can't go on mountains because Weird Chocobos are afraid of heights.)
Run around the rocket 10 times and you can enter it. Now you will be asked: "Where to?"
You can answer one:
"Disneyland"
"West Side"
"Party"
Choosing Disneyland will take you to Gold Saucer, where all the costumes will be Disnye-oriented.
West Side takes you to a hiddern area in Migdar where Barret really grew up.
Party will take you to Costa Del Sol, where Cid is having a kegger in the house with everyone else (even the Turks!!).
But you want to select the fourth hidden option.
This will bring up another question: "Are you sure?"
Answer "Yes" and you will fly to the moon. When you land you have 10 seconds to run into Cheese WEAPON, who is skipping by as you land. If you touch him, you can fight him. If not, game over.
Stats of Cheese Weapon:
--------
HP:2,000,000,000
MP:20,000
ATTACKS: Sharp Cheddar(a physical attack, cause around + 8000 damage)
Cheese Sneeze (causes +5000 damage to all plus poison and confu)
Cheese Freeze (Ice based, causes +7000 damage to one)
Cheese Breeze (Wind based, causes +5000 damage to all)
Cheese Degrees (Fire, causes +8000 damage to one)
Vitamin by Cheese ( Heals the Cheese WEAPON for 9999HP)
Death by Cheese (Causes 9999 damage to all, used when HP is down to 1,000,000. Can only be countered by casting Shield or Barrier)
EXP: 1,000,000
AP:1,000,000 (like you'd need all that anyway)
GIL: 1,000,000
PRIZES AT THE END OF BATTLE:Cheese Ring
STEAL: Cheese Armlet( If you can equip this during battle it will absorb the damage by Cheese WEAPON, but you really can't do it so , sorry!)
MORPH: Cheese Source (raises stats of all characters to 255)


In Battle:
The Cheese WEAPON will summon 4 Cheeseasarurus Rexxes( yes the one from Kraft Macaroni and Cheese Commoercial.) They can attack you for about 3000HP each, and can steal items from you (they usually end up stealing everything you own, but you can steal it back. You win them back at the end of the battle , anyway)The easiest way to beat Cheese WEAPON (I testes this and it ALWAYS works) is to summon Odin, which will turn him into cheese slices. Then summon Titan to turn him into a cheese sandwich. After Titan, summon Typoon to turn the sandwich over. Then summon the Knights of the Round to put toppings on the sandwich. They will put on Ham, Turkey, Salami, Bologna, Mayonnaise, Mustard, Pickels, Olives, Lettuce, Tomato, Peppers and Onions. Then the big guy at the end (I think it's King Arthur) will cut the sandwich in half.
Feed the sandwich to your Weird Chocobo and will transform into the Bizarre Chocobo (it has 2 heads and looks like a peacock)
The Bizarre Chocobo will say "Kraw" instead of "Wark". If it doesn't, use a Hyper on the Chocobo and he will spit out the sandwich. Use Life2 on the sandwich and you'll fight the Cheese WEAPON all over again...
Repeat this until it says "Kraw!". When it does, you can ride him back to the planet (the FMV look like E.T. riding over the moon.) Take the Cheese Ring To the market in Kalm. He will give you the "Cow Lure" Materia.
Interesting Insert:If you go into the pub at Kalm, you will find the polygon render of Nobuo Uetmatsu (the ff7 music composer). He is incredibly junk and will tell you that he is sick of the Prelude Theme and is going to take it out for ff8 (and he does take it out ).
Anyway, once you equip Cow Lure materia, you can fight cows instead of Chocobos. You can breed them too!!
Then a new option on Choco Billy's menu appears. It it "Milk". When you milk them, they will produce cheese. You will have to milk a "Smelly Cow" to get Limburger, milk a "Holy Cow" to get Swiss, and milk a "Patriotic Cow" to get American. I heard there's a Blue Cow that will give you blue cheese, and an Italian cow that will give Parmesan and Mozzarella Cheese.
If you go to Wall Market, you will find the Honey Bee Inn has been vacated. You can buy the building for 1,000,000GIL. Then you can open a Deli. You can server sandwiches with your cheese, and in the International Version of ff7 you can get the Salmon Materia and have Salmon Cheese, which sells for 10,000 gil on a sandwich. By the way, Aeris stays dead.