Donkey Kong Country Game Script v1.0
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Donkey Kong Country Game Script

by VinnyVideo   Updated to v1.0 on
---Donkey Kong Country Game Script---

If you see a barrel with
stars on it, break it open!
It's a mid point marker.

Find Candy and she can
save your game for you!

Funky can send you anywhere
you've already been
on the island, in a flash!

Look out for disguised holes
on the ground and jump on them
from a great height

Look out for banana arrows,
they'll point the way! Of
course, I wouldn't need them!

If you find any bananas,
you can be sure the Kremlings
have been there before you!

If you find any barrels with
DK on them, smash them open!
Your buddy might be inside!

Grab any
extra life balloons quickly,
before they float away.

Klaptrap's teeth are too big
to use the roll attack!
You need to jump on him!

Zingers sport spikes on their
backs! You can't jump on them
unless you're riding Winky!

Klump's hard hat protects him
against your jump attack.
You'll have to roll him!

Krusha is the toughest
Kremling-- only a barrel will
knock him out!

Floating barrels will break
as soon as you touch them.

Steel ringed barrels break
only when they hit a wall.

Steel kegs are indestructible,
follow them and they'll mow
down all baddies in their path!

Hold the run button down and
jump on baddies to gain extra
spring to your leaps.

Bounce on the fixed tires
to hurdle obstacles
and reach bonuses.

Push the free tires to areas
where they will help you
find hidden bonus levels.

You can roll over Slippa,
or just squash him
with a jump attack.

Gnawty the beaver can
be rolled or jumped on.

That's all folks!

There's nothing more
I can tell you.

You know all you need
to know, for now.

Come back and see me sometime,
I'll be here!

I don't know any more
than that at the moment.

That's all there is to it.

Piece of cake if you ask me.

So long, suckers!
Try not to hurt
yourself out there!

That's all the advice old
Cranky here can give you.

I'm getting tired,
I gotta take me a nap!

You practically know more
than I do, now.
Well... almost.

I don't have anything else
to tell you right now,
maybe later.

I could sit here and rock
all day, especially if
you two leave me alone!

I gotta go now,
I'll see you guys later...
if you're lucky!

Well, that's about
the size of it!

Say, is that the time?
I gotta fly.

I could tell you yarns about
the old days all day long!

Y'all come back now, hear?!

If you get stuck,
come back and see me.

Can't say I expect to see
you again, but you
might get lucky, I guess.

It's been nice
talking to you guys.

Eh sonny? Speak up,
I can't hear you.

Donkey, I've seen enough!
That tie-- turn it off!

This stereo sound is making
my tired old ears bleed!
Turn it down before you go!

All this game play
is too much for me.

I'm back to my cabin for a nap.

Remember the original
Donkey Kong?  Think I'll go
play that... see you later!

There's too many baddies
around for my liking...
I'm off to lie down!

I'd ask you in, but they
didn't have any memory left
to display the cabin interior!

Now, off you go!!  See if you
can't finish this ridiculous
quest without my help!

Make sure to shut the gate
on your way out.
I didn't raise you in a barn!

See ya later, alligator!
Ha! Ha!

After a while, crocodile!

You kids today!
You don't have any
respect for your elders!

We never had movement
like this
when I was in video games!

Back in my days, we used to
have real game play...

I bet they wasted
half the memory already,
just on this section alone!

They can't keep this
level of graphics up for
much longer!

We used to be lucky if we got
three shades of gray,
let alone any real colors!

We used to have to survive
with a two frame walk!

Sometimes our sprites
used to change size
for no apparent reason!

We never had any of this
fancy 3-D stuff!  Oh no, we
had to survive on what we had!

And what little we did have,
we were happy with!

Well, I've never seen
anything like it!

Enjoy this demo while you can,
it can't last much longer!

That's right, 4 shades of
gray, in a 2x2 character
block, that's all we had...

I can't play this game,
the colors are all too rich
for my poor old eyes!

Why, even the bananas have
more frames and colors than
I had in the entire game!

Look!...look at this!...as
I rock, my beard swings!
Waste of frames in my opinion!

Aye!  That was when we had
real game play, that was!

And this was developed with
the latest state-of-the-art
3D work thingys, was it?

The trouble with you kids,
is that you're all too soft!

The old games were far
harder when I was a young 'un!

We used to play for hours on a
single screen game and think
we were lucky, and we were!

You wouldn't last two minutes
in a real game!

I could get through
D.K.Country with only
one life, easy!

I'm talking about when
games were games!

3 lives and 3 continues,
that's all we had!

Games never looked like this
when I was a lad.

And we were much better off
in those days as well

Bet you thought this
was 64-bit eh, boy?!

I've got more game play in my
little finger than you've got
in this whole game!

Y'know what they say,
all graphics and no game play!

32 meg..? That would be more
than 30 games in my day,
and they'd be great games, too!

You know what's even worse?
When you get to the end,
and then have to start again!

All this fun can't
be good for you!

You wouldn't know a good game
if you were in it!

A single joystick, and
a single button is all that's
needed to make good game play!

I wouldn't be seen dead
in a game like this one!

I say you can't better the
graphics, sounds and
playability of a Game & Watch!

So you're back again!
I knew a punk kid like you
couldn't do the job...

That was quick. You didn't
leave me enough time to think
of any other stupid comments!

I don't know why
I'm telling you all this,
you didn't listen last time!

You have to
do better than that!

You only just left!

Back again?!  That was quick!

Came back to the master
for more advice, hunh?!

Still got you beat, hunh?!

Yup! Don't make game players
like they used to!

Okay,I'll do the level for you!
...Naw!.. Only kidding!

I don't know how you dare
show your face in here again,
after that pitiful performance!

Whoa, Dudes!
My name's Funky Kong!

My bodacious Jumbo Barrel
can launch you to any point
on the island!

Most unfortunately, it can
only send you to a place
you've already been to...

which is a complete and
total bummer, let me tell you!

Hi!  I'm Candy Kong
and this is my Save Point!

If you want to save your
current game, jump into
my spinning save barrel!

Hello guys,
got anything worth saving?

Can I help you monkeys
save your game?

How would you like
a quick spin in my
save barrel?

Yoo-hoo, Honey Kong!
Now's a good time to save
where you've gotten to!

It must have been hard work
for you to come all this way!
why not save your game?

Wow! You guys really came a
long way!
Save your game now,
while you have a chance!

Yeah, crucial Kongs! If you
feel the need for speed,
jump in and like, jet!

You dudes need some lives or
something? Jungle Japes
is the place for that!

Yo Gorillas!
Go see old man Cranky,
he can help you out!

Lookin' good, Kongs!
Buckle up and blast off,
you're outta here!

If you guys see Candy on your
travels, tell her I'll give
her surfing lessons anytime!

Fancy a flight, DK Dude?
You know the score,
hop in and high tail it!

Whoa, Donkey dude! Maybe your
little surf buddy's on another
level.  Go check 'em out!

Yo Diddy cool! Lost the
big guy again? Blast off
back and see the scene!

Still talking to yourself,
huh? Check out the jungle, I'm
sure you'll find your buddy!

Well done Donkey my boy!
Who'd have thought a young
whippersnapper like you
could've beaten that bunch
of no good Kremlings?
You've made an old man proud!

Go and look in your hoard,
I think you'll be
in for a surprise!

Congratulations Red Team!

You whupped those crafty
crocodiles and are
first past the post!

Whatever happened to the
Yellow Team? I guess those
guys need more practice!

Whatever happened to the
Red Team? I guess those
guys need more practice!

Congratulations Yellow Team!

If I had been playing,
I'd have found everything!

I'm sure there must be some
bonus rooms you haven't found!

What a player you are,
Donkey my lad!
You've beaten the Kremlings

and found absolutely
everything! You're nearly
as good as I used to be!

Well, well, well, if it
isn't the Red Team!
What happened to you two?

The Yellow Team finished
ages ago! Too good for
you were they, huh?

Well, well, well, if it
isn't the Yellow Team!
What happened to you two?

The Red Team finished
ages ago! Too good for
you were they, huh?

Donkey boy!  Where's Diddy?

Donkey, you young
whippersnapper!
Long time no see!

Donkey boy!  It seems
like years since we last met!

It's about time you visited
your frail, old Grandpa!

Hey! Can you spare
your old pappy a banana?

And what have you brought
for your old Grandpa?

Well, you've amazed
your old Grandpa
by getting this far!

So, you've finally come
to get some game play advice
from your old Grandpa!

Diddy boy!  Where's Donks?

Diddy, you young pup!
Boy, I can't believe
how much you've grown.

Well, well! I didn't
expect to see YOU today!

You're doing pretty good
to get this far...

So you found me, did ya?!
What do you want?!

Who told you I was here?
Was it that
obnoxious Funky Kong?

Well, well!
Look what the cat dragged in!

Haven't seen you in this neck
of the woods in a long time!

What do you want, eh?
I'm a busy ape, I am!

Ahh!  At last!
Somebody to chat with!

You're lucky you caught me,
I was just heading out.

Have you brought back
those bananas I loaned you?

Last time I saw you,
you were wearing diapers!

Come over here and
let me have a look at you!

Well looky what we have here!

Aren't you a sight
for sore eyes?!

A whole mob of Kremlings
just passed through!

This here's rhino country!

Hey boy!  Can you believe
the shack they stuck me in?!

Hey boy!
Did you fetch me my paper?!

You big ape!
I could hear you coming
from miles away!

It's hard to find
peace and quiet any more,
with you around!

Sure, come on over!
Beats talking to myself...

Ahh!  It sorta takes me back,
seeing you here!

Boy, this place has been busy
lately! What with all
the Kremlings, and now you!

Sure looks like I'm
Mr. Popular today, yes siree!

Sure beats a visit
from Mrs. Kong!
How can I help you?

Fancy running into
you two way out here!

I ain't got nothing left,
so don't even ask.

I just gave my last barrel to
that orangutan buddy of yours.

What in tarnation do you want?

More freeloaders?!
Well I ain't got nothing
for ya, so scram!

Betcha won't get
much further than this...

In Jungle Hijinxs,
stick to the tree tops
to earn extra lives.

You can find the fun in
Ropey Rampage between
a rock and a hard place!

A leap of faith is all
it takes to find Winky in
Barrel Cannon Canyon

Go bananas in the snake pit
of the Reptile Rumble!

The crafty Croctopus corners
his crock of collectibles
in Coral Capers.

Burn rubber for the
golden rhino
in Bouncy Bonanza.

The bananas in
Stop & Go Station
will put you right!

Avoid Mine Cart Carnage
and jump early
to get the extra life.

Rolling some rubber will
put you on the right road
in Millstone Mayhem!

On Snow Barrel Blast,sometimes
down will not take you out;
it may help you go forward.

On Croctopus Chase, there's a
right way and a wrong way
to get past the barrels.

In Ice Age Alley,
birds of a feather flock
together to get your wings.

Bouncing the Bouncer will
slide you to success during
Slipslide Ride!

The TNT gives you a couple of
real wall to wall blasts
in Torchlight Trouble.

For Elevator Antics, you'll
have to climb higher
than a hornet's nest!

For you Trick Track Trekkers,
the Gnawty twins
gnow a secret!

In Mine Cart Madness,
you're just 3 bounces
away from bonus land.

Once you're in the Poison
Pond, the right way is not
the only way to get the point.

Blackout Basement could give
you a sinking feeling, but
you'll end up sky high!

Let Diddy hold out the TNT
in Manic Mincers.

Take enough rope and
you'll amaze yourself
in the Misty Mine.

The Loopy Lights vulture's
barrel will blow you away.

The Platform Perils vulture
knows it's sometimes better
to come down to earth.

You're in Tanked Up Trouble
if you're all gassed up
and no where to go!

In Orang-utan Gang, follow the
last barrel down to discover
a barrel of laughs!

A single banana
is all you need for
a bonus in Tree Top Town.

Get on down with the bananas
and get ready to party
in Temple Tempest!

Keep your eyes peeled for
Rambi the rhino!  He can crash
into almost any hidden room.

He can't really fly,
but Expresso the ostrich
can flutter about.

Enguarde the swordfish
will help you
get straight to the point!

Rambi the rhino can help you,
but he'll want
to charge for it!

I hear if you roll off
a platform, and press the jump
button, you'll do a super jump.

Someone told me that if you
hold down the Y Button,
you can run!

I read in the manual that you
can jump farther if you hold
down the run button!

I reckon that Rambi the rhino
could break open just about
any hidden entrance.

If you bounce a keg off a wall
and then jump on it as it
rolls back, you can ride it!

If you roll attack a baddie,
your speed increases when
you hit the next one!

I was told that if you bounce
on eight consecutive baddies,
you'll get an extra life.

I heard that Expresso the
ostrich can't jump on baddies.
I guess his legs are too thin.

You can roll over Hister,
or just squash him
with a jump attack.


_______________________________________________________________________________
Game Text (c) 1994 Nintendo/Rare
Document (c) 2008 Vinny Hamilton (Vhamilton002@gmail.com)

Note: The last piece of text only appears in a beta script. Also, the beta
flip-flops "Back in my days, we used to have real game play..." and "All this
fun can't be good for you!" The final version also corrects "I can't play this
game, the colors are all to [sic] rich for my poor old eyes!
(0.1314/d/web2)