Devil May Cry 3 review
Hardest game yet

The good:

Heavy Metal (sometimes)
Style System
All-round better than DMC 1 and 2

The bad:

Too challenging, and hard! And frustrating! And I needed help from a friend!


Let's just say that if there's any game harder than DMC3, let me know not to play it at all, ever, unless you also give me some anger management pills (oh, and try a shitload of them, too, I had to take 5 loads of capsules to shut up). This game, unless you're mister calm or have an incredible sense of direction or have a walkthrough and mastered the otherwise hard-to-master system of this game, will piss you off more than you have been pissed before.

First up, Devil May Cry 3 is good but incredibally hard, no, wait, impossible. Next up, this opens up a pretty good storyline that will get you started up for the Original as long as you can beat this game on Easy (and if you can't, try Devil May Cry 1 and it'll probably not entertain you as much, but won't require half as many pills as Devil May Cry 3). Thirdly, this is about 20 years before DMC1 (yay) so instead of a Dante that acts like a total fag, he's more of a heavy-metal guy and acts more what a normal hero should be, not some fag who rarely talks and only manages to slowly own his enemies. Finally, there's more to this story than stuffing that got shoved onto bread which made it inside my mouth, which is plentyful.

You wouldn't think Dante had any relatives other than this Sparda person. Okay, you would've before this game came. Dante has a half-brother known as V****l (better off not spoiling the whole name) (and when you play this, you'd probably notice the amulets they both wear. It's the same damned emblem and such). He's your enemy and you have to kill him. V****l wants the power of some dude (this I better not spoil) by opening up the door to this Demon realm. Next, we have his sidekick, Arkham, obviously a grey-haired smart-ass who acts as the bad guy's advisor. There seems to be a stereotype where the bad guy is a bad-ass and the sidekick advises the main bad guy on what he should do and act all smart and shit while the main bad guy is totally dumb and needs to hear the advisor/sidekick. Of course, this game tried to stray away from that by having main bad guy here know something about opening the Demon Realm and Arkham having to just be his bodyguard but still advise him on some stuff. Our final main character that won't be blown to shit in the game will be a lady without a real name but will be refered to as Lady. She's a demon hunter and wants to kill Dante and his brother because she's racist against demons and wants all of them to die (even though Dante and his brother are half-demons). And this time, the ending actually means something rather than a God-knows how long scene of total boredom (this didn't bore as much as other games, but still sucky because I normally hate endings), but mixed with all the emotional stuff that involves the main dudes (and the Lady). My memory of the ending is a bit fuzzy here (but tell me a time when it hasn't been fuzzy there), so I can't spoil it or even tell it to myself.

If you're wondering about any differences between DMC3 and the other 2, you're in luck, because now there are differences. There's the obvious difficulty difference. Instead of aggrovating puzzles and medium enemies, we now how enemies that want to and will kick your ass. Look, they'll mainly try to cut off your balls and smash your spine/head to death but that's how much harder the enemies are. Another change... well, sick of swords that are just the same thing but with stat differences? You're in luck, because now, we have quite a few weapons to offer. You have your standard sword, yes, but you also get 4 other weapons. Numb-Chucks, Gauntlets of Light, twin swords which are Wind and Fire and an electric guitar! And unlike that of the first game where the machanics are samey, we have different ones, like with the gauntlets, Dante gets to punch Demons to death while with the twin swords, he gets to hit Demons at possibly twice the speed and twice the pain (hopefully), but Numb-Chucks will involve very quick button-mashing while trying to keep alive. Also, try getting moves for all those weapons with the red orbs, try them all out, master them and it'll take a hell of a lot of time to do that. Combine that with an assault of 5 different guns (pistol, shotgun, rocket launcher, rifle and Nightmare Beta weapon) and you'll have a hard/easy time with this game and kicking ass. I, myself, found it frickin hard and died numerous times even on easy, which is pretty sad.

Another difference? No more shittily boring scenes which come in huge numbers! Instead of a silent, gaybo Dante, we have a cooler one that actually talks as if he's a cocky fighter and wants to kick some major ass. In the 2nd game? The lame thing there is that Dante just wants the fight over and done with so he can move on and finish his mission. In the 3rd Game? Well, that but much cooler and a few sarcastic remarks at times. Oh, and don't expect too much boring and too many cutscenes here, they've been narrowed down to a beginning, middle, boss and end, as well as a flashy little scene when Dante gets a new weapon. The best cutscene I can remember from the tip of my tongue is the one where... I don't really think they were any different from each other, they were all done very well and all looked extremely cool with extremely good graphics.

Ahh, that reminds me, the graphics no longer look like something I puked out by accident because Capcom wanted a sample to see what would look better. Both Devil May Cry games (1&2) looked horrid and made me want to puke. This time around, the only game this is quite inferior to is God of War (and possibly Tekken 5, King Kong and Resi Evil 4, otherwise, unsurpassable). The blood and characters (especially the hard-to-see demons because you're too busy wanting to have their balls in a vicegrip) look real enough to me and that's what matters. I don't really care for graphics but as long as they're not the same eyesores the other 2 Devil May Cry games were, it's alright by me. The cutscenes were done very well, but I do think it's missing something. Sometimes, this game enjoys to lag a lot. A fair bit of slowdown starts to happen when there's too many Demons/scenery/pwnage, forcing you to press too many buttons and get yourself dead, and that's something you don't want now, is it? If you don't want slowdown, go play Prince of Persia, at least that still has decent graphics without too much slowdown.

The only other difference I can remember before giving myself brain damage over this is you can either make this easier or harder for yourself. If you want to get through this game no worries, try out some of the combos and get used to them in the earlier levels before trying them out in the later ones. If you want a challenge, get the moves and deal with the later level straight away while trying for the Styles and pwnage attacks while trying to stay alive. If you're like me and want to kick more ass than needed, I hope you see a Game Over screen. I've seen so many, I nearly wanted to smash my Gamecube to bits while trying to take some anger management pills and rip out my hair. Oh, and have you tried finding out how to move the camera, you're not too smart, aren't you? It's un-movable unless you reach a certain point of some place. You'll probably miss a hell of a lot of Demon-pwnage, but you'll also miss yourself get pwned sometimes because of the camera. So many Game Over screens. The last problem? Well, try finding what deserves to be slayed. They'll clog up your screen and hope that you'll die.

For those who want to see how impossible this really is, read on. Otherwise, get this game already and buy yourself some anger management pills and then find which controller you probably don't mind breaking at the difficulty.

Dante Must Die is just brutal. I (and even my friend, who is good at these sorts of games and beat Hard within an hour) died about 5 times more on Mission 3 than that of Mission 18 and that was a nightmare on hard. I couldn't even finish Mission 3 on my own and my friend got stuck on Mission 18 because it's so goddamned hard! It's like Ninja Gaiden's Hard mode multiplied by about 4. Remember Mission 18 before Dante Must Die? You have to kill a whole Chessboard of these Demons that were pretty tough even on Easy and then a minimun of 3 out of God knows how many bosses to proceed to Mission 19. Multiply the difficulty by 50 and there, possibly the hardest Mission yet. Dante Must Die is a bitch not worth trying if you're like me and cannot deal with all the anger and suffering. Unless you enjoy hurting people, don't attempt this mode, even on level 1, without pills. You'll need to up your focus by so much more hell than in Hard, it'll make your head spin as much as Dante's normally gets pwned here.

I barely waltzed through Hard (or even Medium) without a guide or help from my friend, so asking me to do 10 times harder shit is just rude. However, what my friend had told me is that Hard is medium, Medium and Easy are easy and Dante Must Die is impossible. Meaning Hard is a challenge, DMD is hair-tearingly impossible and the easiest 2 are just a joke. If you agree, buy this game. If you manage DMD on DMC1, you'll manage DMD here, even if it costs most of your hair/controller/everything else.


Gameplay: 4
A tiny bit repetitive, but does change depening on what weapon you're using. Whether it be the sword, twin swords or numb-chucks, it's always different (and a blast) to play this game. As far as Styles and Guns go, go nuts and slay some demons. Exploring is a bit of a bitch but once you spend a few hours fining your path and memorising how to get to the places, you're set.

Controls: 4
Lacks a camera control, otherwise, these controls are quite good and easy to remember.

Story: 4
This opens up Devil May Cry 1's story more, but I'd rather slay some demons, thank you, even though the cutscenes are quite more entertaining than that of Devil May Cry 2's sucky sucktastic story.

Graphics: 4
As said, there's a few games that surpass this one graphics-wise but this one has less slowdowns, but at the most annoying times while I'm at it. When slaying a demon, you want to slay it right here and now, not when Capcom's sucky graphics software wants you to.

Sound: 4
Heavy-Metal and a lot of shattered glass should be enough to keep your ears entertained while trying to clean them from some of the sucky repetitive sounds sometimes dealt out.

Lifespan: 5
Longest hack'n'slash game I've ever played. Why? Dante Must Die. Plus having to learn enemy manuvers, locations, patterns, bosses, weapon usage, attack usage and stances. Guns take no talent to master. The Gunslinger stance adds to the talent, however...
Just renting isn't enough, and I clocked 20 hours.

FunFactor: 4
Going through the game without dying? You're asking for the impossible! That's alright, about half the non-fun games have set patterns for enemies/levels/bosses. There's none here, but if it's going on dying 400 times, forget it, Not fun. The AI is super-cheap and super-smart here and they want to kick your ass as hard as I want to kick Capcom right in the balls for holding onto the button those cheap bastards Namco love to keep holding. But why such a high score? Reading this whole review, plus some reviews on the other 2 Devil May Cry games (1&2) will help you understand, but if fun is defined as ripping your hair, breaking your controller, yelling until you lose your voice and hitting yourself/other people whenever you see a Game Over screen 50 or so times, then excuse me for actually believing in the 21st Century, not the aggrovation century.

Bottom Line:

Are prequels intended to make you super-duperly pissed? Normally, they're meant to take no or little talent to finish but rather than piss easy, we have *bleep*ing hard. Unless you have anger-management problems, buy this and pwn some ass for me and the other people who ripped out about half their hair. I'm surprised most of it has grown back.

This hard bitch gets about 4.6 demons out of 5.

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