Complete each achievement to get the allotted gamerscore. The numbers between the () is the points given for each achievement.
| Achievement | How to unlock |
|---|
| Head Shot(5) | You got your first head shot |
| How Do I Jump?(5) | You killed yourself with a grenade or satchel charge |
| Mr. Unpopular(5) | You selected Meg as a character for a Multiplayer Match |
| One Shot Kills(5) | You've killed an enemy with one shot |
| Shut Up Meg(5) | You killed Meg during a Multiplayer Match |
| Teabag a D-Bag(5) | Taunt a dead opponent with Quagmire in Multiplayer |
| Ugly Tastes Terrible(5) | Play poorly during the final showdown |
| Bipolar(10) | You've switched between Brian and Stewie 10 times |
| Bird is the Word(10) | Taunt 5 times in a row with Peter |
| First Kill(10) | You completed your first kill of a member of the opposing team in Multiplayer |
| Pervert(10) | Hang around the room with Quagmire in a baby costume for 30 seconds |
| Scorched Earth(10) | You burned the Amish pot fields |
| Boom Headshot(15) | You've killed 75 enemies with headshots |
| Bunch of Chumps(15) | Survive 15 waves in Multiverse Madness |
| Day Labor(15) | Destroy all of the piñatas in the "It's All Greek to Me" level |
| Help From My Friends(15) | You used the collectible special inventory items 25 times in Story Mode |
| IEDead(15) | You've killed 60 enemies with grenades/explosives |
| Little Dipper(15) | Earn 10 stars in Challenge mode |
| Multi-Kill(15) | You successfully performed a multi-kill with a melee weapon |
| Multi-kill with a grenade(15) | You successfully performed a multi-kill with a grenade |
| Roadhouse(15) | You've meleed 3 members of the opposing team in Multiplayer |
| Teabaggin'(15) | You've successfully completed a taunt 25 times |
| We Be Clubbing(15) | You defeated 10 enemies with a melee weapon |
| Bestest Infiltrator(20) | Win an Infiltration map |
| Chicken Fight!(20) | You completed the "Chicken Fight!" level |
| Chickens In Space(20) | You completed the "Chickens In Space" level |
| Employee of the Month(20) | Kill Vernon |
| Grease Can't Save You Now(20) | Win a Capture the "Greased-Up Deaf Guy" match |
| Handicapable(20) | You completed the "Handicapable" level |
| It's All Greek To Me(20) | You completed the "It's All Greek To Me" level |
| Kings of Quahog(20) | You have won a Deathmatch mode (free-for-all or as a team) |
| Lockdown(20) | You've shut out the other team from scoring in Capture the Greased-Up Deaf Guy |
| Long John Peter(20) | You completed the "Long John Peter" level |
| No Cheese, Please(20) | You completed the "No Cheese, Please" level |
| Pussy Whipped(20) | You completed the "Pussy Whipped" level |
| Santa's Sweatshop(20) | You completed the "Santa's Sweatshop" level |
| Something's Amish(20) | You completed the "Something's Amish" level |
| Wrecking Ball(20) | Smash your opponent into something 20 times in the "Chicken Fight!" level |
| Cartoon Apocalypse(30) | Survive 30 waves in Multiverse Madness |
| Mort Will Now Lend You Credit(30) | Buy everything available in the Store |
| The Cleaner(30) | You got a 10 kill streak in Deathmatch |
| Big Dipper(40) | Earn 21 stars in Challenge mode |
| Justified(40) | Kill 500 enemies using Brian |
| Penny Pincher(40) | You've successfully collected $50,000 |
| Stewie-nator(40) | Kill 500 enemies using Stewie |
| No Place Like Home(50) | You completed the "No Place Like Home" level |
| Obsessed(50) | You've completed all secondary objectives |
| There is no Cake(100) | Unlock all other Achievements |
