Crash Twinsanity

THE BAD:
-Horrific gameplay
-Too short to be Crash Bandicoot (all the other games were good and lengthy)
-The difficulty takes you out of the experience, so the fun doesn't last too long
-Annoying music
-Boring graphics
-All the effort you use just to get one thing done is pretty unsatisfying

SUMMARY:
The not-so-recent change in Crash’s world has been drastic. When I first heard about this game, I thought it would be awesome. But I was totally unaware of the disaster this game would bring.

Graphics: 7.7 -- This dry beauty is a sad example of why good developers like Naughty Dog should never sell great mascots like Crash Bandicoot. The character models look better than ever, complete with great detail and effortless animation. Some of the designs didn’t really match the character (some of the tougher characters’ designs are too cutesy), but those characters are very insignificant anyway. Also, the animation for the enemies and background characters is kind of slow, both physically and mentally. Not that it really matters, since you never see those characters a second time or those enemies in more than one level. The level designs aren’t too great, either. There is nothing about them that makes them any different from your average platformer. Yes, they are well detailed, colored, and shaded, but they’re so boring to look at. Also, they severely lack the realistic texture that I’ve seen in previous titles. Grass, dirt, water, and ice all look more like something from a child’s beach play set than the real thing. Wood, rock, glass, and metal have the same problem. The flat, unimaginative ‘detail’ does not make up for it. Really, the levels look great, but they’re so lackluster compared to all the other Crash games I’ve played (that’s what happens when greedy companies sell their good products). On the contrary, the effects aren’t so bad. They too are really dull, but they’re quite nice at the same time. When the time calls for it, you will see some bland particles, but those pathetic little sparks are pretty good for they’re irrelevance because they can really light up the screen. As far as graphics go, this isn’t bad at all. It’s just so lifeless compared to most other games.

Sound: 7.5 -- Like the visuals, this game’s audio is great yet nothing really special. The music is definitely something else. First off, it was obviously randomly assigned to the levels, since almost all of the songs would be better suited for other places than their current locations. Shouldn’t crazy music go with crazy levels? I mean, intense levels have watered down music, while milder ones have a more eccentric soundtrack. What kind of music is this anyway? It’s just so bizarre, as it has these background singers in every track. And it’s so incredibly annoying! There are a handful of songs I liked, but most of them will drive you up the wall. Also, I’ve noticed that their distractive nature makes the levels even more maddening than they already are. Fortunately, the sound effects are pretty good and make up for the lousy music. Many of the various happenings are equipped with a respectable sound. But it would have been nice if they included other necessities like footsteps, character motions other than spinning or jumping, and the noise of mechanical contraptions. Also, I never really paid much attention to the sound, but that’s mostly due to the obnoxious composition. They could have been a little louder, but I’m fine with this. The dialog is some of the best I’ve seen in a Crash Bandicoot title. Although they could speak with a little more enthusiasm, it’s still well done. They sound like they know what they’re saying (most of the time), and that definitely counts for something. Plus, some of it is so funny (like when Cortex shoots a farmer with his Ray Gun) This may not be the best Crash sound system ever recorded, but it’s still pretty good overall.

Handling: 2 -- This is the WORST gameplay I’ve ever even seen in a game. Even from the beginning, playing this game is a nightmare! The camera should have been a breeze, since you have total control over it, but it keeps trying to go in its own direction when you need to adjust in most. And it tends too come in too close, making it difficult to navigate large areas and thus results in death. However, when it chooses to cooperate, the camera can be useful for certain obstacles--but not by much. Like the camera, you would expect the controls to be a snap. Well, they’re only easy to use; they just don’t work well in a lot of spots. Even if you crawl under a laser or spin an enemy before it can get you, there’s still a possibility that it will get you. I mean, really, simply moves that we’ve known forever should be well adapted to the environment, right? Well, apparently, that doesn’t matter. In all the previous Crash games, the controls were exactly what you needed to advance the stages. But in Twinsanity, you are required to jump great distances, attack quick airborne enemies, and outrun baddies. These activities sound like a fun challenge. But sadly, they are far from enjoyable; the jumps are just too imprecise and distant, the enemies attack before you even have an opportunity to defend yourself, and the baddies are downright unfair, as they quickly catch up to you when you had no way to outrun them. So, as you can easily imagine, playing this game is like playing an ordinary game without thumbs. You have to rely on button combos, for one thing, but you mainly don’t have all the necessities to play this game. Even from the beginning, the levels are hard enough to be one of the final stages. Worse still, you get killed by the enemies just from touching them, even if they are nothing dangerous. Unreachable bats and natives with spears are acceptable, but background animals should be completely harmless. Additionally, you often come across slippery platforms, in which you can easily run off the edge after a jump simply because the programmers were too lazy to stop the motion. Even the simplest jumps feel like landing an airplane. Normal games bring you to an immediate stop while platforming. And the fact that there are more tiny platforms than before only makes it worse. If it’s that hard just from the beginning, just imagine what the ending is like. Unless you’re very skilled with platformers and have a very long fuse, please avoid playing this game at all costs.

Entertainment: 7.3 -- The excruciating difficulty can often render this game unappealing. But I did find this game to be pretty fun before I was exposed to what this game hides behind its innocent scenery. The new platforming style offers far more freedom, and it’s a pretty nice break from the crammed spaces of the past. Also, there are still some classic level types, which prevents this title from becoming a separate adventure. And I have to admit, some of these levels are quite fun (that is, if you can get used to the poor gameplay). Unfortunately, the difficulty will get to you, and you will gradually find this game to be less and less appealing. The only thing that can keep you going is the humor, and I admit it was pretty funny, but it get's old as you move on. The game’s entertainment level is different for everyone, so I strongly recommend you rent it prior purchasing it. If you love it and don’t find it too hard, buy it. If you think it’s fun but don’t like the difficulty, just rent it every now and then when you feel like playing it. If you hate it, you can always return it. This game is only worthy of the most skilled gamers, and they all think it's boring.

Features: 4.8 -- Unlike much of the Crash universe, I didn’t find much in this game. For starters, it only has a small range (16) of excessively long levels, rather than lots of short and sweet ones. And there isn’t much to do at all. Your only goal is to make it to the end of the level, occasionally collecting a crystal. It is rare for you to do something other than that. There are a couple of bosses, but they require little strategy and are less than satisfying. In addition to a lame game, you will be asked to collect six colored gems in each level, totaling in 96 gems. And collecting even a few of them is hell, because you will need perfect timing, very quick movement, and very sharp eyes to get just one. With each gem, you unlock a boring bonus feature, which is hardly even worth your efforts, something like concept art, comics based on the level, and brief movies. If you can get them all, you unlock a totally lame bonus movie, which is worth 0% of the stress to get these gems. Other than that, there is nothing in the game. It’s short, it’s demanding, it’s uncreative, and it’s probably one of the biggest wastes of time today.

Replay Value: Low

Overall: 5.8 -- I am very dissatisfied with what I found in this package. The graphics and sound are unnoticeable or just plain annoying. The gameplay will cause even the calmest gamers to blow their top, and it renders the game unlikable. And it’s not even worth all the effort. Do yourself a favor and avoid this heart attack of a game.