Lukas' Castlevania: The Adventure Review

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-1 thumbs!
Offendr Oct 20, 08
Your humor is dryer than a buffalo's 10 year old diarrhea dump. Excellent review regardless, you covered everything quite detailed without boring the reader too much.

...seriously, humor shouldn't be that stock shit you got. Look up Yahtzee's reviews, study his humor, then apply that with your dry-as-hell humor and you should at least make the reader laugh as opposed to facepalming. Or don't have humor! Whatever works.
0 thumbs!
Miss Fortune Nov 29, 08
Kind of boring. You really didn't have a good hook sentence, which really makes reading it kind of harder. Although, yes you did cover most of the info that was needed, if you had made it more interesting it would have been a lot better.
0 thumbs!
Vergil Ties Apr 18, 09
I concur, mostly with the boring part.

Some parts need to be trimmed, and need opinions as opposed to a list of facts.

The graphics portion is too long and I fell asleep reading through it. Oh, and this part:

"The answer is... Oh boy, we have ourselves an unanswerable question here! The thing is, you can't really compare the Game Boy's visuals with the NES's visuals. Why? The Game Boy has black and lime, while the NES has all (or most) of the colors of the rainbow. Who are we to compare Game Boy visuals to NES visuals? Maybe Game Boy Color, but is this Game Boy Color? Hell no!"

is not needed at all. Nobody gives a shit about this kind of thing.

The comparison to Ninja Gaiden 3 was unnecessary. Trim it to a sentence or 2, at the very most. If I wanted to read a review of Ninja Gaiden 3, I'D GO TO THAT GAME'S PROFILE AND READ A REVIEW FROM THERE, NOT HERE!

The intro was terrible. After reading possibly one of the worst intros you've ever written, it became a chore to read the rest of the review (which was a huge chore in itself because all I read was a list of specifics). I couldn't care less about how praised or bashed it was, unless it was handed the "piece of shit" award 200X. If it was something something like Lair or Legendary, that is a good intro, but Castlevania: The Adventure didn't get bashed nearly as badly as Lair and Legendary. Oh, and talking about time periods to defend a non-existent argument fails.

Rewrite this review. I apologize for being harsh on a review you wrote exactly 7 months ago, but I felt that this could've been improved on heavily. I've never been disappointed badly by any of your reviews...for one, they consistently hold a certain level of decency.