The book begins with the Baudelaire orphans and Mr. Poe on the grounds outside of the school, Prufrock Preparatory School. Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire meet Carmelita Spats, a rude girl who calls the Baudelaire orphans "cakesniffers". Mr. Poe tells the children to go to Vice Principal Nero's office. On their way there, they notice the schools' motto: Memento Mori (Remember You Will Die).

They soon meet Vice Principal Nero. He explains the absurd rules of Prufrock Prep, and tells them that his advanced computer system will keep their enemy, Count Olaf, away. Unfortunately for the children he considers himself to be a genius, but in fact he is stupid and oh so very arrogant...